Investigate my life

Some people might call me an over-thinker (and they’d be right!)

I am a person who ponders the in and outs of life, I analyse every interaction and motivation. I dissect conversations after an event in an effort to figure out, “what she really meant by that comment”, or worrying if, “I said the right thing.”

It is a natural tendency of mine to think deeply about why I say or do things.

It is a good thing to be a reflective person and think back over your actions. But there is also a danger there. A danger that you get sucked in to a whirlpool of overanalysing every. single. little. thing.

I know ’cause I’ve been there.

This brings me to the next prayer of my heart that I want to share with you. It comes from the end of Psalm 139, you know the psalm where David tells us that God knew us before he formed us, that he knows us intimately inside and out.

Search me, God, and know my heart;
    test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
    and lead me in the way everlasting.

Psalm 139:23-24 NIV

The Message version of this passage starts this way:

Investigate my life, O God

I find so much comfort in this prayer. It is not up to me to delve into the depths of my psyche and get caught up in the “maybe I should have” circle of questioning that can become a vortex of anxiety.

Instead I just need to ask him to investigate my life. As the previous passages of Psalm 139 illustrate perfectly, he knows me more than I can know myself. I can trust him to gently reveal to me those things that I need to change.

What’s more he will not leave me a list of my stuff-ups to mull over and yes, get anxious about once more. For this verse promises that he will lead me.

I can trust him to investigate my life, and lead me in the right way, rather than spend my time overthinking and worrying about whether I’m doing the right thing.

So today if you are an over-thinker like me, I pray that you are able to hand your anxious thoughts over to God. May you allow him to search you and gently point out what needs to change, and may you trust him to lead you.

Amen