You hold it in the palm of your hand
It is small enough to fit in your pocket
Yet it controls your life
You answer every beep, flash and buzz
With Pavlovian single-mindedness
on parenting in the middle
I am in the middle. In the middle of the term; in the middle of the primary years of parenting; in the middle of fifty-three thousand unfinished tasks (or so it seems). My mind is always full with too many tabs open.
I’m dropping the ball. Last week I took the girls to their swimming class straight after school. I had packed the bag with a warm change of clothes, googles, towel, everything but their swimmers!
It feels like a treadmill of washing, cooking, making lunches, hassling about homework, etc. You know the regular ins and outs of #mumlife Continue reading “on parenting in the middle”
Thoughts after attending a funeral
She was my age. Younger actually as her birthday is in July.
We grew up together, I was at her wedding, she was at mine, we were in home group together.
Yesterday, I was at her funeral.
It was beautiful.
And heartbreaking.
on cultivating tenderness
On Friday my youngest daughter (pictured above) turns 7. And I will have a 7-year-old and an 8-year-old for a season. And it surprises me how long I’ve been doing this parenting gig. And how much I still feel like a complete novice. I’m still so unsure of what I’m doing and I’m still so very desperate to get it right for their sakes.
Often this manifests itself in an attitude of instruction, “please use your cutlery; don’t swing on your chair; please finish your mouthful before speaking.” Whilst this example is from the dinner table, some days it feels like my whole day is issuing instructions.
I have been pondering how I can cultivate tenderness in my every day. Thinking about how I can make my daily interactions less about the doing and more about the being with. Continue reading “on cultivating tenderness”
Embrace the stretch
I love my body balance classes. I love the way we start with gentle Tai Chi movements. Followed by the balance section of the class when we all try really hard not to wobble, then ab-workout which is always killer, and lastly the twists. Our instructor often tells us at this point of the class to ‘embrace the stretch’.
So I lean into the stretch and I feel my muscles lengthen and protest slightly in a good way.
It makes me wonder how often in life I actually lean into things that grow and stretch me. How often I embrace the stretch and how often I flat out resist it.
What I lack
I have been feeling the gap of late. The gap between who I am, and who I want to be. The gap between what I know and what I need to know. There is a steep learning curve and I am right at the bottom of it.
I am in a season of stretch. I am in a season of great exponential growth.
I have a deep sense of my inadequacy, my shortfall, and what I lack. I feel unprepared to tackle the season ahead.
