messy … a challenge

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Do you ever have days where you look back, and you are unhappy with the person you were that day?

Do you ever have days, where you are in the middle of life, washing the dishes, changing the nappies, talking to your husband and you know that you are not the person you should be? Days when you are messy inside, and feel like someone has taken all your worst traits and decided to display them for the world to see. It’s not pretty.

I started today fed up with the world in general, and any member of my family no matter how big or small. I remember thinking at breakfast time “where is the reset button”, but it was nowhere to be seen.

Today I was short-tempered, grumpy, impatient, insensitive, shallow, and selfish. Today I was not a good person at all, and I have been struggling so much with what to write tonight, but unfortunately tonight I can’t lie and gloss over things. I can’t philosophise or write pretty turns of phrase. Today I was just messy.

Emotion is messy, contradictory … and true. (Nigella Lawson)