At swimming this term, my youngest has gone in the pool by herself. Just her and the teacher. She is now at the age where I hand her over and I am not the one to hold her and guide her.
I expected a repeat of what happened with my eldest, with tears and clinging to me, and me having to wear my bathers each time, just in case. None of that happened. Happy as anything she has gotten into the water two weeks in a row, so proud she can do this herself, with big smiles and waves for Mummy.
For me this is totally unexpected, very thrilling and (honestly) it is also tempered with a sad little thought “oh, she doesn’t need me anymore”.
And then I remember, when the girls are sick and I don’t know what to do, I call my mum. When I can’t quite remember how to make that recipe, I call my mum. When my eldest is mid temper tantrum and Mr is overseas, I call mum.
When we got engaged, when we fell pregnant, Mum was the first to know. And the time I found out that my baby didn’t have a heart beat, it was Mum who stayed with me, keeping me occupied, fielding the calls, talking when I couldn’t.
And then I remember, you always need your mum, it just changes how you need her.
So in my relationship with my little girl, she no longer needs me in the water, but boy does she need me on the side of the pool waving and encouraging her. So for now that’s my role, and until that changes again, that’s what I’ll do!
Trusting wider on this Mother’s Day,