on stopping …

I have recently been tackling a difficult area of my life. My inability to stop. Or to put it another way, my need to constantly fill every moment of my day with something. For all of my posts and resolutions at the beginning of the year about being careful about what I take on, and resting in the silence, I have still found that I am very occupied.

Then I came to the realisation that it was intentional, it was me, I was filling up my days, my hours and my minutes, because I was afraid of stopping. I was afraid of what my mind might do, where it might take me. I wasn’t sure I wanted to find out, and so I kept going, knowing it was unhealthy and ultimately not what I wanted for myself, but I did it anyway.

We have just recently returned from an overseas holiday, and one part of that time away was spent at a seaside resort. So I was in a situation where I couldn’t clean, cook, or wash. I was in a situation with limited wi-fi access, so I couldn’t keep up with emails, blogs, Facebook or pintrest. I didn’t have a choice, I stopped.

It was okay.

I actually enjoyed it.

I actually found it freeing.

I had time to think, to journal, to rest. I read a whole book! (I know unbelievable!). My mind didn’t take me anywhere scary, it just relaxed and breathed. I came back from that holiday, rested and refreshed. Turns out stopping was the best thing for me.


One thought on “on stopping …

  1. Do it again! =)
    Have you read ‘An Altar In the World’? I think you would enjoy it. I also just finished reading ‘Leaving Church’ which was beautiful too, with a lot of wisdom, and wonder.

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