I have been listening to myself speak of late, and whenever someone asks me “how are you?”, my response is all about the difficulties, the stress, the fact that the girls are sick, or that managing life with a travelling husband is hard. Nothing about the joy, the fun times, the celebrations and the achievements of my life. My response is always quite negative.
And yes all of the above is true, and there are difficulties and stress, but I have a real sense that I need to even up the balance, and focus more on the positives that abound in my life. So this year my word for the year is lighter.
Looking at the dictionary there are so many definitions of light, here are just a few: not heavy, weighing relatively little; without burdens difficulties or problems; easily borne or done; not serious or profound, entertaining (Collins)
Since becoming a mother I have felt the weight of the responsibility, the gravity of my role as parent, the measure of the precious lives I have been entrusted with. I find myself saying ‘no’ to the girls for no real reason, I find myself weighed down with the duty of being their parent. This year I choose to be lighter, yes, to be a parent and not shy away from the hard stuff of teaching them, but to say ‘yes’ when there is no real reason to say ‘no’.
This year I chose to be lighter when people ask me how I am, I am choosing to look for, focus on and celebrate the positive in my life (while still acknowledging that every now and again I have a bad day).
This year I choose to be lighter about having things all together, about things going to plan. I choose to let go and be spontaneous. I choose to forget I am the parent, and join the girls (and Mr) in childish fun more often.
This year I choose to live more lightly, and who knows where that will lead …