in the midst

Have you ever been in the midst? In the midst of struggle, in the midst of heartache, in the midst of grief? Did you feel like in the midst was all there was and there was no foreseeable end?

When I was in the midst of my grief and pain of infertility and miscarriage. I wrote. And those writings became poems, and those poems became a book, and that book I self-published, and then it took on a life of its own.

I recently received an email from someone I have never met, who read my poems. She wrote about how  “it felt comforting to know that I wasn’t the only one dealing with such a prolonged deep sadness”.

All I could think when I read those words was “my story matters”.


your story matters

My story is not the same today as it was when I wrote those poems. My story is still one of miscarriage and loss, but it has moved from there to also be one of child-birth and raising children. That doesn’t make my previous story any less valid.

I know when I was going through my own pain and sadness, I didn’t really want to hear the stories of those who had travelled the same road as me and had their promise fulfilled. Rather I needed (as a lifeline) the stories of those that felt and acknowledged the pain in the midst. Those were the stories I related to most, because those stories spoke to me in my present, not in my possibility.

And I am so very grateful, that I could do the same. Because if I tried to write those poems now, in this everyday motherhood reality, I would not be honestly sharing the heartache of that time.

You who are hurting, you who are in pain. I just want to let you know that your story is important right now. Yes it is messy, yes it full of anger, and pain and questions and hurt, and grief and worry, and more pain. But I want you to know that it is okay to share that, to let others know in whatever way works for you about your story in the midst.

What is your story today?

Write it, paint it, sing it, cook it, grow it, teach it, but above all tell it. Because in the reality of the moment you are most honest, and you have no idea who needs to hear that today, or in the future.