unsubscribe

unsubscribe

I was having a chat with Mr yesterday about a blog I read. For the month of October this blog has been focussing on how to create a sacred morning ritual. I have seen these posts come in, and each day I have thought, “that’s great, I need to sit down and read that, and then I need to plan for that, and then I need to do that”.

And each day another post came in, and suddenly there were 17 posts there for me to read and work through, and I was starting to feel overwhelmed.

And the reality is my morning ritual is more like this:

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be present

be present

Recently I was treated to a massage. It was wonderful and relaxing, and also very hard!

My mind kept wandering. I was in a peaceful, relaxing environment and I kept thinking about things that needed to be done, conversations that need to happen, and plans for the future (albeit just dinner). I struggled to be fully present and fully unwind. At one stage the treatment therapist had to gently shake my arm to try to get me to relax.

I feel like I have been in the habit of multitasking for so long now, that I can no longer focus on just one thing. I load the washing while changing the beds and cleaning the bathroom. I read on my iPad, while I watch TV. I wash dishes, while I prepare and serve the girls dinner, and I talk to my mum on the phone. As I type this I have five other tabs open on my web browser.

I know multitasking is sometimes useful, and as a mother, often a necessity. But I have a feeling if I can’t actually turn off the multitasking part of my brain I might possibly have a problem here (but while you think on that let me just close those five other tabs!)

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on lies and truth

words

What are the words that have been spoken over you? What are the words that you have said to yourself, or others have said over you that you have believed?

The words that are the most insidious are the “not” words. They don’t even have the dignity to be something, they are defined simply by what they are not!

Not pretty, not thin, not happy, not creative, not clever, not athletic, not fashionable, not a part of our group, not marriage material, not a good friend.

What is wrong with our society that we prefer to define people by what they are not rather than what they are?

Words have power.

I am a poet, a linguist, an English teacher, I believe absolutely in the power of words to define our identity.

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how you measure it

how you measure it

I had an interesting experience recently, where I started the week full of energy. This is such a rarity I celebrated the way I usually do in these situations. I wrote myself a to-do list.

Now this list filled an A4 page, but in my head I saw it as a to-do list for Monday.

Inevitably, life intervened and that list did not get finished on Monday, or Tuesday, or Wednesday, or even by Friday. But I found, when I got to the end of the week that list was 2/3 complete. And by the end of the next week I had completed everything on that list. And it made me realise that it is not so much about the list itself, but the time frame I had placed upon myself to get it done.

At the end of that first Monday I could have screwed up the list, and called the day a failure. And let’s be honest, most days I would have done that. I love my lists, and more than anything I love ticking off items on a list.

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should have

I missed my deadline to post on Sunday. And while I knew that I had missed it, I didn’t worry about it. Because I was away. Because I had no phone reception. And because I had other more important things to do.

I spend my life with an internal list of ‘should have’ and ‘need to’ going on in my head. And sometimes this even extends from basic things like “I should have done the dishes”, to more flexible things “I should have read that blog post”, “I need to make that craft activity for the kids”.

While these things are ok in their own right, (and let’s be honest there are always dishes that ‘should have’ been done) the problem comes when they become the most dominant noise in my head. When they drown out the voices of the moment that I am in, the voices of my family, my friends or even God (whose whisper is the quietest).

beach

I have spent this Easter with my extended family up at the family cottage. Running the net for mullet, putting pots out on the reef to catch crayfish, teaching my daughters about watching the sea, and showing them the paths through the rocks and the dunes. Investing in family.

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