This one is for those of you who have a dream in your heart, a tentative fragile dream, but the fear is killing it. The fear is bigger and stronger than that dream right now and so your dream, that fragile little shoot is not getting the light it needs, or the food it needs to grow.
What is a revolution exactly?
There are many things you get warned about when you about to give birth. But an unexpected one is that you are warned that you will experience what is called “the baby blues”.
You will have a time 3-5 days after the birth when the hormones in your body run wild and you run a roller coaster of emotions, even doubting if you are capable of being a mother or wondering if you can go back.
And the thing is despite the warnings, and the fact that you are ‘somewhat’ mentally prepared, you still have to let the emotions run their course. Even with the second child, when you have already experienced this tornado of emotion and hormones once before, it still hits you just as hard. It is not something you can avoid.
You may not have given birth, but I wonder if you can relate to that feeling? The feeling of holding a precious new-born dream in your hands, but you haven’t quite got the hang of it yet. The questioning why you did this in the first place and whether you can go back, (when clearly you can’t). The emotional roller coaster, the doubts, the questions.
I am a collector of words. I like turns of phrase and word play and little snippets of language that encapsulate an idea or a feeling.
I collect from everywhere, quotes, letters, conversations, and what I read.
So of course some of my word collection includes biblical phrases. These phrases speak to me of encounter, a face-to-face meeting with the one who knows me and who knows just what I need.
So I thought I might start another series like “word play” and “just a little list” examining some of my favourite phrases, and the encounters surrounding them. (And because this is my blog that is exactly what I’m going to do, you all ok with that?!)
As a third culture kid there is something you get to do again and again. Meet new people, make new friends, create a community. You learn to do it again and again, and again.
But that doesn’t mean it comes easily.
I have had a number of experiences in the last few months where I have been finding my place in three new communities. I’m figuring out how it all works, and I’m not loving it.
I grin and bear it, and introduce myself and try desperately to remember people’s names. I try to understand the group dynamics, figure out who is going to be interested enough in me to invest. Interested enough to take the time and effort. I know I seem confident, put on a brave face, extend a friendly handshake, but somehow I flash back to those early days in a new country when I was floundering to find a friend.