the everyday struggle with fear

faith brene brown
I have discovered when you intentionally place the phrase “fear or faith” over a year, you find fear has many faces.

Just when I think I have dealt with the fear of comparison, then perfectionism rears its ugly head. Just when I think I have dealt with the fear of failure, then the fear of success arises. It is like the mythical beast Hydra. You chop off one head just to have three others sprout back in its place.

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on baby steps and faith

work space

What does faith feel like to you?

I often have an idea that faith is the big steps; the leaping out of an aeroplane type steps that we take in life. I am learning that what looks like leaping out of an aeroplane, is actually often the product of a lot of  planning, praying, and organising.

For the observer it looks like the person is leaping, but to the person themselves it is a simple step.

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fear or faith – choosing to make mistakes


I have a fear of making mistakes. As a third culture kid, moving to a new country every three years, I got very good at figuring out the culture and the expectations. And in constantly differing school environments, I also learnt very quickly the cost of making mistakes. A mistake pretty much set me up for an unhappy next three years. So I got good at playing it safe. Avoiding risk and sticking to my strengths got me through.

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enjoy the ride

roller coaster

I am the kind of person who loathes roller-coasters. I hate the fact that I am not able to know when the next turn will be. I hate going upside down. I hate the slow crawl to the top of the hill, knowing that at any minute we will be hurtling to our death. I even hate watching film of roller-coasters as it makes me sick.

And I can’t understand those people who are totally fine with roller-coasters. Those people who say “oh, it’s so much fun, just enjoy the ride”.

I don’t enjoy the ride.

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