Due to the later sunrise in winter, our girls have taken to turning on every light in the house as they come down to our room in the morning. So of late we have awoken to bright light in our eyes, instinctively hiding under the covers from it. Continue reading “on truth, comfort and light”
Dream: a cherished hope, aspiration
I have been thinking a lot about dreams of late. Those desires placed in your heart that take time and effort to come to fruition.
What is a dream exactly? It is nebulous, difficult to quantify. Elusive.
I have discovered when you intentionally place the phrase “fear or faith” over a year, you find fear has many faces.
Just when I think I have dealt with the fear of comparison, then perfectionism rears its ugly head. Just when I think I have dealt with the fear of failure, then the fear of success arises. It is like the mythical beast Hydra. You chop off one head just to have three others sprout back in its place.
What does faith feel like to you?
I often have an idea that faith is the big steps; the leaping out of an aeroplane type steps that we take in life. I am learning that what looks like leaping out of an aeroplane, is actually often the product of a lot of planning, praying, and organising.
For the observer it looks like the person is leaping, but to the person themselves it is a simple step.
I have a fear of making mistakes. As a third culture kid, moving to a new country every three years, I got very good at figuring out the culture and the expectations. And in constantly differing school environments, I also learnt very quickly the cost of making mistakes. A mistake pretty much set me up for an unhappy next three years. So I got good at playing it safe. Avoiding risk and sticking to my strengths got me through.
I am the kind of person who loathes roller-coasters. I hate the fact that I am not able to know when the next turn will be. I hate going upside down. I hate the slow crawl to the top of the hill, knowing that at any minute we will be hurtling to our death. I even hate watching film of roller-coasters as it makes me sick.
And I can’t understand those people who are totally fine with roller-coasters. Those people who say “oh, it’s so much fun, just enjoy the ride”.
I don’t enjoy the ride.