I knew I had a long drive, so I hooked my phone up with my Spotify playlist and dropped it on the seat beside me. Half way through the drive my phone suddenly cut out.
I am the multi-tasking queen. At breakfast time while the toast is cooking, I make the lunches. While the kids are eating breakfast, I unstack the dishwasher. While Mr makes the coffee, I run sight-words with my youngest, and check the homework folders.
It has become a point of pride for me. How efficient I can be, how much I can get done simultaneously. Continue reading “on fake resting”
I found myself in tears on Sunday evening. Unbidden. Unexpected. As Frederick Beuchner says, ‘whenever you find tears in your eyes, especially unexpected tears, it is well to pay the closest attention’.
I paid attention.
I have been in a season of good things, a season of great things, a season of wonderful things that all happened one after another. I feel like I turned 40 and my life went crazy in the best sort of way. So from my birthday to now – the past three months have been very busy.
At the moment my spirit feels like a dust cloud, so many particles up in the air vying for my attention and I can’t see a clear way forward. Yet I am trying. So I am fumbling through the cloud, and getting sand in my eyes and throat, and wondering why I can’t see clearly and why I just can’t breathe.
I’ve been away.
Consciously, deliberately, as a circuit breaker.
Firstly from social media. I found there were things being shared that I just couldn’t handle. I know myself, I know my limits, and it just wasn’t worth checking, so I didn’t.
I have been away.
I have just got back from my silent retreat. From Friday night until Sunday morning we were silent.
No talking, nothing. I spent the weekend with a group of people who did not talk.
And it was a wonderful break.
But although it was a break from talking, it was also a break from other things too.
It was a break from social media. A break from email. A break from making polite conversation. A break from cooking, cleaning and being responsible for others.
But it is not normal life.