embracing fear

fear and creativity

My question over this year is “fear or faith?” So it was inevitable that for our book club, Amanda, Elaine and I chose Elizabeth Gilbert’s Big Magic.  Which has the subtitle, Creative Living Beyond Fear. And it comes of absolutely no surprise to me that when I draw up the schedule “courage” is the first post I have to write.

And of course, this post comes right at a time of great paralysis in the writing of my book.

I am afraid. And as Gilbert says fear’s main purpose is to cause us to stop.

… everyone’s song of fear has the same tedious lyric: “STOP, STOP, STOP, STOP!

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dream on dreamer



There is something about being surrounded by people who dare to dream. Something about being surrounded by creative people who have big ideas. It makes me feel that my dream is not so silly or dumb. It makes me feel that if they can do it so can I. It helps me to stick it out in those dry hard times when the dream is the end of the road, and there is so much hard work still to be done to make it a reality.

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On rugs and the voice in my head

photo 1I spent all of yesterday at a Rag-Rugging workshop.

Let’s put this in context.

I am not a sewer, I am not a knitter, anything to do with fabrics scares me, I can barely sew buttons back on my shirts, and I definitely do not do hems, ever!

In my mind my sister was the sewer, she was the fabric person, she was the crafty one, the creative one. I would literally find myself in a room full of people doing crafty stuff and shut down.

One of my very good friends asked us to make little T-Shirts for her baby shower. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t cut out a pattern and iron it on with whatever that stuff is. I refused because I didn’t believe I was creative (sorry K).

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the source


Everything at the moment keeps pointing me back to the source

feeling overwhelmed, finding things are getting on top of me

go back to the source

feeling tired and worn out

go back to the source

feeling spent on other people, and in need of sustenance of my own

go back to the source

at a loss of which direction to go

go back to the source

worried when the words won’t flow

go back to the source

overwhelmed by the myriad of other voices in my ears

go back to the source

searching for hope, for joy, for peace

go back to the source

It’s all there. Everything I could ever want or need, I just need to remember where to look.

I lift my eyes to the hills – where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.

Psalm 121:1-2

breathe deeper,


the worst form of procrastination

water sand feet

I have been having a conversation with Mr of late, about the stuff I am reading. The myriad of blogs, and the links that follow that lead into a rabbit warren of differing opinions and ideas.

Now don’t misunderstand me here, learning from others is great, finding people who you absolutely identify with through their writing is amazing, and reading to broaden your outlook is definitely a good thing. But for me right now, I am doing too much reading, and not enough being.

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