the names we call ourselves

notebook

There is a pattern in my life, an unhealthy pattern, a pattern of denial. A pattern of not owning the reality that is placed upon me.

I established and ran a woman’s ministry in our church for a number of years, and yet I hesitated to call myself a leader. I have been writing in one form or another since I was 6 years old but only recently have I called myself a writer. I have been involved in creative events and services for a long time, and yet would never have thought to call myself creative.

But there is power in owning those names, there is power in finally stepping up and saying “yes, I am a leader, I am a writer, I am creative”. Because opportunities suddenly appear.

And this is why …

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new season?

We’ve been having some very confusing weather of late. We have had beautiful balmy weekends that seem to herald the arrival of spring and then wet and cold weeks where the wind is blowing straight off the antarctic.

cold morning

I am finding it very frustrating. I don’t know whether to hang my washing or put it in the dryer. I don’t know whether to take an umbrella or not. I don’t quite know what the season is, and I just wish it would make up its mind so I could plan.

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Deny

you are amazing

 

Deny: to declare a statement to be untrue; to reject as false; to withhold; to refuse to fulfil the expectations of; to refuse to acknowledge; disown; to refuse (oneself) things desired.

I am a big believer in the power of words. The words spoken over our life and the words that we speak to ourselves have power to hurt, harm, heal or help. But I also think there is a place to examine the words we deny.

Are you good with compliments?

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books that open me up

books open

One of the amazing luxuries about my new rhythm this year is the time to once again read. While the ability to finish a page, let alone a chapter, has been elusive to me over the past 5 years, I none-the-less kept purchasing books. (Well, just because I couldn’t read them, didn’t mean I didn’t want them!)

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know thyself

know thyself

 

Between the ages of twenty and forty we are engaged in the process of discovering who we are, which involves learning the difference between accidental limitations which it is our duty to outgrow and the necessary limitations of our nature beyond which we cannot trespass with impunity.

I love the quote above  from W H Auden.

Maybe it is because Mr just turned 40, and maybe it is because I’m next? (Technically I say he is a year older than me, but in reality it’s 6 months!)

But I do feel like I have been going through a process of discovery and acceptance.

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